Sunday, February 22, 2009

Irresponsible Father


I tend to follow rules. I have been trying to be less uptight without being irresponsible.
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Last night Allie was spending the night at a friends, leaving Em and I home alone. Emilie and I decided to go out for Thai food and a movie. Emilie wanted to see either Mall Cop or Confessions of a Shopaholic; she decides on Mall Cop. We had some time to kill before the movie started so we went to Starbucks. Emilie and I discussed the best way to sneak chai tea into the the movie theater.
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After Mall Cop we were leaving the theater and I noticed Confessions of a Shopaholic was about to start in the theater next to us so I asked if Em wanted to sneak in and see it. She was one excited eleven year old. We didn't get home until close to midnight. Very irresponsible on many different levels.
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This morning I told Em to get ready for church while I went to pick up Allie from the sleep-over. When I got home Em was [pretending to be] asleep with a post-it note stuck to her saying her stomach hurts. We both knew that just meant she was tired and didn't want to go to church. Allie had gone to a Catholic church with her friend the day before and didn't think she needed to go again this week. Every Sunday morning I have to push them to go to church. They wanted to eat Lucky Charms but I made them eat Kashi Whole Grain Cereal. Em, Allie, and I drive to church in complete silence because they are mad at their uptight dad. I didn't like going to church as a kid. I still don't like going. I wanted to start watching the 20 hrs of the Tour of California that I recorded this week. Anyway, I am critical of Christians. I find it harder to question the existence of God riding at Poto than I do in church.
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I take Allie to class and she doesn't kiss me good bye. Em doesn't want to go to her class so I let her sit with me. I go to one of those huge super churches where you don't need to know anyone. I wait in line to get a cup of coffee. I can't tell if the androgynous person in front of me is male or female. It is impossible to tell. Lets call it Pat, like from SNL. Pat has wavy hair, short for a women but long for a guy. Pat is heavy so I can't tell if Pat has a chest or man-breasts. I am obsessing over it as I tend to do over questions I can't answer. This question will have to go unanswered.
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I sit down in church and I'm not really paying attention; I'm planning my ride when I get home. Then the pastor reads Nehemiah 8:1 "...He read aloud from daybreak till noon as he faced the square before the Water Gate in the presence of the men, women, and others who could understand." OK, we have men and women...but who are "the others" that don't fall into the previous two categories? IT WAS PAT! God has a sense of humor. Kind of made the day worth it. And I can still fit in a ride.


2 comments:

  1. My "stomake" hurts too......from laughing!

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  2. I know right...I was trying to quietly snap a picture of her without me cracking up. She is so clever that it almost got her out of church.

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