Sunday, March 13, 2011

The Life and Times of Rocky Raccoon

Today was my first ride on the Kona Major One. The bike came with a 38 x 18 gear. I never rode a single-speed cross bike before but this seemed silly low. I changed it to 42 x 16 without even test riding it. 42 x 16 was spot on. I also changed the seat post, seat, tires, and pedals. I wanted to change the stem too but I also wanted to ride and I was starting to squander the extra hour of daylight savings. It was an excellent ride; gray and cold but, in a sure sign spring is coming, I had to bunny hop over a lot of raccoon carcasses.

As any middle schooler who vaguely paid attention in science class knows, the life expediency of a male raccoon in the wild is 3.1 years. What their teachers spare them is why this is so. You see, life is very unforgiving for the non-dominant male raccoons. Raccoons tend to reach their peak around 2 1/2 years of age (25 in human years). Life is good for a two and a half year old male raccoon. He gets his choice of cribs and female raccoons come knocking on his door. He goes into hibernation with nothing but blue skies ahead only to emerge in March as a 3 year old (45 and balding in human years). He gets his ass kicked a few times, assesses his situation, and decides the most humane thing he can do is throw himself in front of an unsuspecting motorist.

At least that is what I think happens. I don't really know. I'm just an Engineer. And I didn't really pay attention in middle school.


  1. G is working on kicking a racccc out of his rental place in the SE at this very moment.... can't wait to hear about the battle over crawl-space!

  2. All he has to do is put a 2 1/2 year old raccoon in the crawl-space and, oh wait, never mind.

  3. Start riding that Major One fixed, then you will really be having fun.

  4. Mark, sometimes I forget my bike is on the roof rack, I know I'd forget I can't coast.